Fightin' Words by Patrick Keller "The Ultimates Sketch" One afternoon in January 2002, at the Marvel Comics officers in New York... BILL JEMAS: Hey, Joe? JOE QUESADA: Yeah, Bill? JEMAS: Any new comics this week? QUESADA: The Ultimates. JEMAS: All of them? QUESADA: No, just The Ultimates. JEMAS: That's what I said. All the Ultimates are coming out. QUESADA: No, just The Ultimates, Bill. JEMAS: It doesn't make much sense for all the Ultimate books to come out on one week. QUESADA: I agree. That's why just one book is coming out. JEMAS: Which one is that, Joe? QUESADA: I already told you. The Ultimates, Bill. JEMAS: The Ultimate line is just one book now, Joe? QUESADA: No, it's four books. JEMAS: And they're all coming out this week? QUESADA: No, Bill, just The Ultimates. JEMAS: I'm so confused. Who have we got writing these books, Joe? QUESADA: It's just one book, Bill. JEMAS: Okay, okay! Who's writing this "one book"? QUESADA: Mark Millar. JEMAS: What about Bendis? QUESADA: No, just Mark Millar. JEMAS: You fired Bendis? QUESADA: No, he didn't want the job. JEMAS: What? He what? Are we talking about the same Bendis? QUESADA: I think so. JEMAS: I'm not even going to ask you who's drawing it. QUESADA: Okay. JEMAS: Who's drawing it? QUESADA: Never mind. Hey, Bill, you know what comic I really like? JEMAS: What? QUESADA: Hate. JEMAS: Okay, Joe. Which comic do you hate? QUESADA: No, I like it, Bill. JEMAS: Okay. Which comic do you like? QUESADA: Hate. JEMAS: I wish you'd make up your mind. QUESADA: I have. JEMAS: So which is it? QUESADA: I like Hate. JEMAS: You are a very strange young man, Joe. QUESADA: If you say so, Bill. But Bill, Hate is the name of the comic. JEMAS: The comic is called "Hate"? QUESADA: Yes, Bill. That's what I've been trying to say. JEMAS: And you like it? QUESADA: Yes, Bill. I like Hate. JEMAS: And The Ultimates is just one book? QUESADA: Yes, Bill. JEMAS: Written by Mark Millar. QUESADA: Yes! JEMAS: What a relief. Hey, Joe, you know what comic I like? QUESADA: Which comic is that? JEMAS: Witchblade. QUESADA: What blade? JEMAS: No... You know what? Never mind, Joe. Patrick Keller is on first. He would like to dedicate this column to Gail Simone... whoever she is. And offer apologies to Bud and Lou. Email Patrick Keller comments about this column, or discuss it on the Fourth Rail message board.